Penis Contest Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree. The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim. That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today. "Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick." "What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother. "Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?" The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."   Sandbox Humor First-grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess. Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at recess?" Sarah says, "I played in the sand box." Teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie." She does and gets a cookie. Teacher asks Morris what he did at recess. Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box." Teacher says, "Good. If you write 'box' correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie." Morris does, and gets a cookie. Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at recess. He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me." Teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."